James Charles Pearson

Jimmy-

I have been so busy. I haven't been on your pages but I certainly can't stop missing you. There are days that it seems that I just can't stop thinking about you. My heart aches just like it did the night that it shattered.

I look at the boys and think about how much they are like you and it breaks my heart that they are growing up without you in their lives. Ashley never even got to meet you. It's so unfair that you died at such a young age. I sob and want to scream at the same time. Chase misses you so much. I think that he's had the hardest time coming to terms with your death. I wish that I could make it better for him but I can't.

Jimmy, I still love you and I always will. I will miss you every day with every breath that I take, just like I said that I would when you died. Show me that you are still with me. I just need you tonight.

Love,

Me 

Jimmy,

I heard a song today that just brought me to my knees. I could have written every word. Here are the lyrics:
Heaven was needing a Hero by Jo Dee Messina

I came by today to see you
Though I had to let you know
If I knew the last time that I held you was the last time,
I'd have held you and never let go
Oh it's kept me awake nights wonderin'
Lie in the dark, just asking "why?"
I've always been told you won't be called home until it's your time

I guess Heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up for what you believe and follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is that Heaven was needing a hero like you

I remember the last time I saw you
Oh you held your head up proud
I laughed inside when I saw how you were, standing out in the crowd
You're such a part of who I am
Now that part will just be void
No matter how much I need you now
Heaven needed you more

'Cause Heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up for what you believe and follow it though
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is that Heaven was needing a hero like you

Yes, Heaven was needing a hero...that's you.

I heard it by mistake. I was looking for a different song and this one popped up. Of course I can't get it to play on either of your sites. I just keep listening to it over and over again. It makes me cry.  

I still have a hard time believing that you are really gone. I just miss you so much!

I love you!

God knows that I wish that Heaven wasn't so far away. I've been so busy lately but that hasn't stopped my heart from aching for you. For some reason, it has been bothering me to see sisters and brothers together lately. It's always young adult siblings and usually an older sister and younger brother. I was watching one of my favorite shows last night and a scene with a brother and sister left me in tears. It seems that I can't do anything at all without missing you.

I've started my photography business. Does that surprise you? I'm sure that it doesn't. I know that you got tired of being the victim of my obsession. I sure wish that you were here so that I could get just one more picture. That's something that has bothered me since you left us. The pictures just stop... there are no more. No more smiles, no more hugs, no more teasing... no more.

Forgive me for continuing to try to find my way without you. I'm really struggling today.

I love you!

Jimmy,

I hope you like your new page. I've been having some trouble with the other one. Brent was upstairs in bed and I heard his little footsteps padding into my office just a few minutes ago. He quietly whispered that this song reminds him of you. I just smiled and told him that you love him. Stay close to the kids. They miss you as much as I do.

I have a lot of work to do on this site. I don't when I'll find the time but you know that you are always in my thoughts.

I love you,

Steph